Friday, April 5, 2013

"Just What I Thought!"

Note: I chose to write this post in the first person...based on things my siblings and I experience at each visit with with mother, along with info that friends and workers at the home have shared with us. I open my eyes this morning and see the sun coming in the window. I know that my stepmother Normar will soon call me for breakfast. I wait, but she never calls. I guess daddy is already up and in the field. It seems like a long time since I've seen either of them, but maybe they'll come see me today. A strange woman comes to my bed and calls me by my name "Margie" and asks me if I'm ready to get up. I notice that someone is sleeping just below the foot of my bed, but I can't make out who it might be. The woman helps me sit up in bed, changes my clothes and tells me that breakfast will soon be served, I don't think she's Normar. It's been a long time since any of my people have come to see me. I wish I could go home. I think I'll wheel on up the hall and see if I can find my husband, Yates. Some of these old people here get on my nerves, but the Bible says that we'll all be old one day and to be patient with them. I know what year I was born, but I'm not sure of my age. I can't be over 40 years old though! I do remember having children, their names are Doris, Jay, Sue and Jean. I hardly ever see them anymore, I guess they don't know where I live now. Somebody was telling me just the other day that they come and see me often, but I sure don't remember them being here! My left groin area has been hurting me for a long time now; it gets better, then it hurts again. I'm going to steer pass this old woman, I believe her name's Edna. She's always telling me I'm crazy, but she's the one that has to walk with a walker and I get to ride in a chair, I think she's the one that's 'crazy!' There sure are a lot of people that live in this place, most of them just come and go, don't care to knock when entering. I don't know what to think about people just sailing right through your front door and not even speaking to you. They ask me if I want to play bingo, shucks, I used to go to Myrtle Beach with Bryson and my children and play Bingo all the time. I could probably play Bingo circles around most of them! I'll just roll in there and watch for awhile, then I can leave when I want to. Nobody is the boss of me here. I believe I spot Yates over there, I think I'll go see why he's not over here with me! "Yates honey, what are you doing?" He pushed me away and told me to leave him along, why Yates has never talked to me like that! I sure hope daddy comes today, he might be sick or something, or maybe he's just working and will be here later. There's somebody walking up the hall that looks familiar but I can't see her too good. It looks like my daughter Jean, I better roll on up there and investigate. Yes, it is! "Well, who are you?" I say, she says she's 'Santa Claus!' maybe she'll take me to pee. Instead,she's taking me up the hall, I might get to go home with her. "Jean, let me ask you something, have you seen daddy?" She told me that she had just talked to him and for her to tell me that he loved me and he'd be up to see me soon. That sure never sounded like anything John Williams would say, if he ever told me he loved me, I sure don't remember it! It looks like she's leaving now, I wish I could go with her. Maybe I can out wheel her in my chair. No, she just walked out, foot fire, I'm too late. I guess I'll just roll on up here and sit at the door, maybe daddy will be here in a little while... I have created you and cared for you since you were born. I will be your God through all your lifetime, Yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. Isaiah 46:3-4


  1. I think I may have just discovered a kindred spirit as I started reading your blog this evening. Your earliest posts take me back to the beginnings of my mother's dementia and recent ones sound so familiar. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years ago. I also live in NC, have siblings not too far away in other towns, and have been a part time caregiver for her. Thank you for sharing your stories. Maybe one day I will do that too.
    Boone, NC

  2. I discovered your blog yesterday and have just now completely read it. We recently had to move my mom in-law in with due to Dementia. Needless to say, your posts made me laugh and cry at times. It is such a horrible disease. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I grew up in NC, so your mom's recollections sound familiar. This post, as my mom's own progression with vascular dementia, Lewy Body dementia, and Alzheimer's Disease did, reminded me of Katherine Anne Porter's short story entitled "The Jilting of Granny Weatherall." Great post!